FRANCE - NANTES

 Before Covid-19,   the cultural consensusin Austria was pretty clear: shake hands with people you don’t know that well or if it is a formal personal relationship, hug if it is a female friend or your super touchy cousin and that is it. Covid made things a little more complicated just a friendly nod? Fist bump? Shoe touch? Wave? Handshake or a hug? If that overwhelmed you, I welcome you to the Post-Covid Era social interactions in Nantes, France. In general, this region of France prefers two kisses on the cheek (=bise) between non-same-sex relationships and handshakes for other lads. Ok, gotcha, right? Nearly. Don’t forget some touchy Belgian mates, they like to go in for a bise as well however you normally shake hands when you meet someone first. Old traditions suggest that ladies should initiate whether they want to be touched or not in terms of a handshake, a friendly wave, a bise, or just a simple hug. But. Not anymore, no one really knows how or why or when you do what, it just happens. And that is the beauty of it. Let me introduce myself to this chaos of greeting other people. As a young teenager, I was relatively hesitant to hug people. Once I overcame this obstacle in my early teenage years, time flew by and I landed in France and had my first “what on earth did I just do”-moment.

And action: Imagine the scene, background irrelevant, light on the two protagonists, me and a newly found friend from the Catholic Club of my university. I go in for a hug, and as I performed this exquisite central-European-hug I hear the sound of a bise on the right sight of my cheek. I think to myself, “Damn I forgot they do it differently here in France” aaaand cut.

So here is an introduction on how to do the bise: Remember this may differ with who your “opponent” is. But generally speaking, the way it works is you basically put your hands in such a position that looks a little similar to the situation when you just dropped some meat into a boiling hot pan with oil. Maybe use one hand to touch the elbow of your sparring partner in this cultural sparring match. As you successfully complete stage one, go for the bise, usually on your left-hand side and on your “opponent's” right shoulder, and make your cheeks slightly touch, and don’t forget to make a sound like you just slurped in some delicious spaghetti. Though not too loud. Congratulations! After this, you do the exact same on the other side. And complete is your first bise. Hopefully successful. You might want to be warned about the fact that your sparring partner might want to distract you from doing a perfect bise and getting points for himself by throwing random small talk questions in like “Comment ça-va?” or “tu vas bien?” Don’t get distracted, just answer after the first bise, as these questions are usually asked before the first landing of a bise. But feel free to be the one trying to score points and ask these questions yourself.

Bise, hug, Bise and handshake, a bise with a hug, just a handshake, fist bump, handshake in combination with a fist bump, a friendly wave, eyebrow nod, eyebrow nod with a click sound. The opportunities are endless.

One thing I learned over the years as an altar boy at church, and this got yet again proven here when I serve as an altar boy at the beautiful Basilica of Saint Nicolas here in Nantes. Whatever you do. Do it with confidence. Now you might do something completely wrong and whatnot. The funny thing though is that most church attendees have no clue of what an altar boy has to do and when AS LONG AS YOU DON’T MAKE IT OBVIOUS that you just committed a Himalayan blunder. It is the same with such cultural games. Nearly no one knows how it really works. Some might have a good picture of what happens. But as long as you do it with confidence you will be all right and probably the future sparring master of the famous bise.